The Team

League match
SUN 24 FEB, 2pm	Manchester Stingers	0	v	2	Denton Town

Player of the Match
Vicky Smith

Match Report

Today’s match report was kindly sent in by Frank Gallagher from the Chatsworth estate.

“ Hello I’m Frank and I will be writing this match report for the Manchester Stingers WFC ( I admit I am not writing but I am dictating to my daughter Debbie who can write which always helps). Anyhow it was a Saturday night and after a few pints and a few pills I headed home from the Jockey it was 5 am and Spoonface kicked us out, what can you do. Now I normally find my way home ok but dem pills seemed a bit stronger than normal but to cut a long story short I managed to find myself in whally range. I fell asleep in a sh%&*g field just off kings rd. I awoke with a cold a@$%e to the sound of leather on leather and i’m not talking about one of our sheila’s fantasys. This was football, womans football and best thing was they had a bar. Grabbed myself a pint and sat down to the delights of a game between Manchester stingers and Denton Town. I had an ex from Denton back in the day, hated her, so I was up for the stingers. I went to see Lip play once in the under 9’s but I was banned from any future games after head butting the ref.

The game started of lively enuff and the stingers were doing well, things were looking good but after about 15mins that Denton lot scored. Never mind could still get a goal back. Second pint and we are 16 mins in, the Stingers looked a bit under pressure resembling city under Stuart Pearce. It took some good defending to stop Denton getting another. Some good midfield play saw stingers create a half chance. I started to realise what all the Fuss this womans football business was all about and Im not talking about the bouncing mammary’s but the football was half decent as well. Although I reckon Norma would be well at home down here. Third pint and more chances go to Denton but Stingers hang on and manage to create some good play down the wing.

Fourth pint (don’t worry Keith, I’ll pay you back for the beers, yeah right) and Denton gets a goal right on the stroke of Pi’&%^g half time. Time for a pint and a chance to catch up with my cousin Noel. Sixth Pint and the Second half kicks off, Now I dunno what the Big Mouthed Manager said to them girls in that changing room but they came out a lot stronger. The Stingers were taking a lot of the possession from Denton and just needed to create some half decent chances, The new girl who came on as sub looked lively and got stuck in, that’s what I like to see.

Seventh pint and the Stingers create a good chance but it goes just f’#%^*k wide, I reckon even our ickle Liam wud ave scored that. Eighth pint and a whiskey chaser and I’m feeling a bit tipsy, I reckon this stingers lot could get a result here if they bag a few. Another chance goes begging as the ball rattles around the box like pewee f^%&@&g herman in a potato sack. It’s getting close to the end of the game so I think I’ll have a Pint “one for the road you might say”. Another chance goes wide and It feels like another day watching city, Should be 3-2 by now. 5 mins left and i decide to kiss one of the subs she’s was having none of it and proceeded to kick me in the b%@@%*s. I reckon it must have been the Sick down the front of my shirt that put her off.

Full time and its 2-0 to Denton, I feel as disappointed as my kids are at Christmas but such is life. “Life” don’t get me started ah well it’s time to Scatter, after one more Pint of course.
Make Poverty history cheaper drugs now.

PAARRRTTTEEEEGGHH !!!